day one

I've been dreading this day since i first found out about my unfortunate "exposure" to tuberculosis last month. working in the medical field, i am, knowingly, putting myself at risk for many nasty germs and bugs. i never really think about it. i enjoy what i do and wouldn't change my career for anything. so last month, i received a routine PPD skin test. for anyone who doesn't know: the skin test is done to see if you have been exposed to the tuberculosis disease or if you have the active disease. long story short, my test was positive. needless to say, the spaz that i am, i instantly thought i was going to die. how could this have happened?! [well, i know] I'm so neurotic about cleanliness, why me?! [its out of your control, who you may come in contact with] how is this going to affect my life?! so many questions i had. i was an emotional wreck. then that turned into being angry. followed by the pity party. accepting that i had no say in contracting this exposure is still hard to deal with.

so my first order of business was to get a blood draw so that i could confirm that i had been exposed.

YUP.

next was a chest xray to see what my lungs looked like.

NICE & CLEAR :)

this meant exposure for sure, but not active TB. thank the heavens above. 

then i got dylan tested and luckily my little man was:

NEGATIVE :)

making my workplace the most obvious place of my exposure.

but not limited to everyday life.

all it takes is to be near someone [with active TB] that has coughed or sneezed!

last week i met with an infectious disease doctor. um gross much! oh and just for the record, since you've probably read this far and thought to yourself, "omg, when was the last time i was around ashley and was she contagious!" i will say this loud and clear... 

EXPOSURE ISN'T CONTAGIOUS!

some nasty person infected ME. i CANNOT infect anyone else. i dont have the active virus in me :) 

i must thank my friends and family for being so supportive. we all know what an anxious girl i am and hearing all your positive words have made this bearable!!

so back to my appointment which was the final step to see if i was a "candidate" for the antibiotic. a nine month supply of a daily dose of medicine. geeze, talk about a pain. plus, monthly blood draws to check my liver and make sure that there arent any side effects to the medicine. liver damage being one of them. that sure brought my anxiety to an all time high!! im trying to remind myself that this wouldnt have been prescribed to me if it wasnt safe. there are side effects with EVERYTHING, right?! shoot, life has a side effect!! my other option was to take a gamble with it. some people live their whole life with exposure and never contract the active disease. BUT there is a chance of contracting the active disease later on in life. your body just drops its guard down and BAM, tuberculosis has taken over! i never get sick, cant remember my last cold. im healthy and at some times i viewed myself as untouchable to many things. guess not now =/ i just couldn't see myself taking that risk. i have a son and i need to be healthy for him. if i were to get sick years down the road, there isnt much to do about it. not a lot of medical options for an older person so im thankful that this pain in the butt antibiotic will work for me :) give and take people!!

the most positive thing about all of this is that once i have finished the medicine, i will NEVER contract active Tuberculosis.. it will only be a memory to me :) its the process of getting through these 9 months and staying healthy that worries me. oh and did i mention no alcohol?! yup.. i will be sober for these months and not because i have a bun in the oven. with the risk of liver damage, i must not add to it with alcohol consumption. dumping out the wine tonight :( i know that god never gives you more then you can handle so im leaving it up to him to get me through this bump in the road. im going to continue thinking positive thoughts and just swallow that damn pill and forget about it...

this is one of those moments where the saying

"everything happens for a reason" crosses my mind numerous times.

what's this reason?!

my doctors last words have remained with me...

"it could always be worse, so be thankful it's not!"

i am.