[co]parenting.

"there is no such thing as a perfect parent, so just be a real one."

mom

dad

made this irreplaceable kid.

5 months

5 years

8 months

4 years

1 month

6 years

 

to be honest, co-parenting, was no walk in the park. in the beginning at least. while i was pregnant i had no clue how hard, physically & mentally it was going to be raising my son separate from his dad. it wasn't until dylan was born that the challenges of being civil with one another were tested. we were once so close that i never thought it would be hard to get along and raise a child, now not being together. damn, was i wrong! those first years of Dylan's life had to be some of the hardest years of my life, thus far. if i wasn't arguing, i was crying and if i wasn't crying then i was so emotionally damaged. i went through a phase where i blamed myself for bringing dylan into this mess. saying you will split your time with your kid sounded like an easy thing to do, but not until my baby was born did i realize how hard it was going to be to not be able to be with him every moment. i had to share my son, with someone i now, couldn't stand. i had no control over the "other life" dylan was raised in and same went for his dad when dylan was with me. difficult doesn't even begin to explain things.

there were good times, bad times and real ugly times. i look back now and ask myself how i made it through all of the ups and downs. i know the answer is my supportive family. my friends who never left my side and my husband, then boyfriend who always told me, "it will be okay." and honestly, deep down inside, i knew that all this anger, resentment and what not that we had between each other had to eventually get better. how is it that two people who once cared about each other and created such a precious, innocent being continue on with life as enemies while wasting all the good times to be had with their child. whether we were [co]parenting or trying to make things work. i always knew in the back of my mind that my son was watching us. kids are like sponges and even before dylan could speak i know he could sense our vibes!! i cant recall the exact moment, but we had stopped making the problem about us and started to make our lives all about dylan and raising him the best we could! i guess you could say it was the moment i grew up! i wont speak for him, this is solely how i feel. i can only hope that he agrees with me. we had come so far in the relationship that we had with each other. yes, it is possible to be friends again. we have know each other for many years. even before dylan, we had gone through a lot together. I've let go of all the drama, realizing that none of it mattered anymore. not with how short life is.

i come from a stable home[life]. my parents have been together since before i was born. if dylan didnt have that life, then i wanted him to have something somewhat close to it. the older he gets, the smarter he gets :) i want him to see his parents interact in a civil manner. i want him to see his parents as friends. i want him to hear me talk highly of his dad, just like i hope he speaks highly of me. [co]parenting can be done. respect is number one. it has been a long 7 years, but it's also gone by so fast. a lot has happened, a lot has changed and im happy that most of it was for the best :) we have gone nowhere but up!

there are perks to [co]parenting.. my kid gets to enjoy 2 of everything. double the holidays, double the gifts and double the love!! he has two father figures, he has a stepbrother who loves him. he has many grandparents to spoil him and i couldnt have asked for a better family tree :) my son is the most loving caring intelligent little boy. i couldn't have been blessed with a better kid. not to mention how handsome he is. he looks just like his mom ;) he makes me proud everyday and as i write this i miss him even more. today he's with his dad. funny how sometimes your kid drives you bananas but the second they are gone you want them back!! guess that's a total mom feeling! 

i have friends who deal with [co]parenting and i hear about all the drama, all the negativity! i feel like saying, "been there, done that!" when i watch Teen Mom, i see myself in some of those girls. i went through what they went through. i cried about the things they cried about. i was scared at times, i felt like my world was a mess and i had done it to myself and my child! i wish i could tell them that its not the end of the world. it's nice to look back and have it only be a memory!  my only advice is that it can get better if you work at the relationship. make it about the kid and not about the adults.

it wasn't always easy but it was ALL WORTH IT!

i look forward to the next 7 years of Dylan's life <3