one year anniversary 8.21.11

today was our one year anniversary! our morning began with yet another gift exchange! the paper theme was a success :) I loved getting a "wife" card! the rest of the day consisted of much needed relaxation with just the two of us! we celebrated last night with dinner at this amazing italian restaurant in SF. Piazza Pelligrini! it was a nice restaurant with sweet waiters and awesome food! we had our entree's and then the most out of this world dessert ;) it was nice to be at some place new! I never realized how many great places the city has to offer. I need to explore more often! today we popped in the DVD and watched our "day" again! I would give anything to re-live it! our top tier of cake had thawed and it was time to follow the tradition and eat a piece... yuck! not how I hoped it would taste but it was fun to try it. it brought back memories thats for sure :) I love my husband, he spoiled me this anniversary!! im looking forward to our continued future together <3 curious to see what year two has in store for us!! happy anniversary robert, I love you!!

pacifica, a loving community

when i was younger, i couldn't wait to get outta this town. i couldn't believe my mom grew up here, went to school here and raised me here. didn't she ever wanna leave? now that i am older, and have a child of my own i realize why she stayed in such a town. this small city by the beach is the only place i see myself growing old in, raising my kids in and eventually getting to see them raise their kids too. its a peaceful town, great neighborhoods, awesome schools, beautiful sceneries and a irreplaceable community!

for example tonight. a friend of ours was in a tragic bicycle accident  a couple weeks back and is still recovering in the hospital. his wife and four children do not have their dad home with them. he is the provider of the family and unfortunately became the victim of a freak life threatening accident. in such a short amount of time, this community has come together as one to support their family each step of the way! i dont know how i would be able to deal with such circumstances like his wife has. she is such a strong person for her children and husband! i really do admire her :) twice in one year i am reminded how quick life can change in a matter of seconds! with my friend tracey and her horrible accident to this. you just never know! 

the local pizza restaurant was kind to help in a fundraiser and donate a percentage of their income on sales tonight to the family. no one wants to cook on a monday and being this was for a great cause, my family and i headed to the restaurant. it was nice to see so many people supporting the family! i have never seen this place so packed. too packed, that when i went to order a pizza [it is a pizza parlor] i was told they ran out of dough!! no dough?! holy crap! guess the owner wasnt prepared for all the people who care for this family :) so the next best thing was their chicken caesar salad and pasta! we were satisfied and happy to be apart of this night!! its a nice feeling to see everyone in town get together to support one another, i hope this brought a smile to the family's face :) and a sense of hope.

i continue to pray for him and hope that he recovers in time. 

he has so much to live for and a family that needs him<3

love the ones you love. life is precious.

the Mini Family

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."
-- Author Unknown

[co]parenting.

"there is no such thing as a perfect parent, so just be a real one."

mom

dad

made this irreplaceable kid.

5 months

5 years

8 months

4 years

1 month

6 years

 

to be honest, co-parenting, was no walk in the park. in the beginning at least. while i was pregnant i had no clue how hard, physically & mentally it was going to be raising my son separate from his dad. it wasn't until dylan was born that the challenges of being civil with one another were tested. we were once so close that i never thought it would be hard to get along and raise a child, now not being together. damn, was i wrong! those first years of Dylan's life had to be some of the hardest years of my life, thus far. if i wasn't arguing, i was crying and if i wasn't crying then i was so emotionally damaged. i went through a phase where i blamed myself for bringing dylan into this mess. saying you will split your time with your kid sounded like an easy thing to do, but not until my baby was born did i realize how hard it was going to be to not be able to be with him every moment. i had to share my son, with someone i now, couldn't stand. i had no control over the "other life" dylan was raised in and same went for his dad when dylan was with me. difficult doesn't even begin to explain things.

there were good times, bad times and real ugly times. i look back now and ask myself how i made it through all of the ups and downs. i know the answer is my supportive family. my friends who never left my side and my husband, then boyfriend who always told me, "it will be okay." and honestly, deep down inside, i knew that all this anger, resentment and what not that we had between each other had to eventually get better. how is it that two people who once cared about each other and created such a precious, innocent being continue on with life as enemies while wasting all the good times to be had with their child. whether we were [co]parenting or trying to make things work. i always knew in the back of my mind that my son was watching us. kids are like sponges and even before dylan could speak i know he could sense our vibes!! i cant recall the exact moment, but we had stopped making the problem about us and started to make our lives all about dylan and raising him the best we could! i guess you could say it was the moment i grew up! i wont speak for him, this is solely how i feel. i can only hope that he agrees with me. we had come so far in the relationship that we had with each other. yes, it is possible to be friends again. we have know each other for many years. even before dylan, we had gone through a lot together. I've let go of all the drama, realizing that none of it mattered anymore. not with how short life is.

i come from a stable home[life]. my parents have been together since before i was born. if dylan didnt have that life, then i wanted him to have something somewhat close to it. the older he gets, the smarter he gets :) i want him to see his parents interact in a civil manner. i want him to see his parents as friends. i want him to hear me talk highly of his dad, just like i hope he speaks highly of me. [co]parenting can be done. respect is number one. it has been a long 7 years, but it's also gone by so fast. a lot has happened, a lot has changed and im happy that most of it was for the best :) we have gone nowhere but up!

there are perks to [co]parenting.. my kid gets to enjoy 2 of everything. double the holidays, double the gifts and double the love!! he has two father figures, he has a stepbrother who loves him. he has many grandparents to spoil him and i couldnt have asked for a better family tree :) my son is the most loving caring intelligent little boy. i couldn't have been blessed with a better kid. not to mention how handsome he is. he looks just like his mom ;) he makes me proud everyday and as i write this i miss him even more. today he's with his dad. funny how sometimes your kid drives you bananas but the second they are gone you want them back!! guess that's a total mom feeling! 

i have friends who deal with [co]parenting and i hear about all the drama, all the negativity! i feel like saying, "been there, done that!" when i watch Teen Mom, i see myself in some of those girls. i went through what they went through. i cried about the things they cried about. i was scared at times, i felt like my world was a mess and i had done it to myself and my child! i wish i could tell them that its not the end of the world. it's nice to look back and have it only be a memory!  my only advice is that it can get better if you work at the relationship. make it about the kid and not about the adults.

it wasn't always easy but it was ALL WORTH IT!

i look forward to the next 7 years of Dylan's life <3

love the life you live.

"if i die young"

The Band Perry

this song means a lot to me.

so many things happen in life that make me realize how quick life on earth is. time passes so quickly. in an instant everything can change. some days you think you have your whole life still ahead of you but really, you have no idea when it could all be over. 

don't you ever feel like the good ones go first, the young ones die too soon?! unfortunate accidents happen to the people who are needed the most.  its very rare to hear about some evil, no good person dying. it's the person who was great, the person who had it all, the person who meant the world to the ones around them, the person who had so much to live for! 

when i die, i want to feel good about the life I've lived. you're probably thinking, "she'll be dead, how will she care?" everyday is a new day to turn it all around. you have been dealt the cards you hold, so its up to you to play them right :) I've had ups and downs in my life and i appreciate my past for bringing me to where i am now. 

i can only hope that i will be here to see my son grow old, become a great man and start a family of his own. seems like so many years down the road right now, but i know it'll be here in a blink of an eye. to me, nothing else matters then family, friends, health & happiness!

  I've gotta let go of any regrets, toss the what-ifs and love the life i live. you will always want what you cant have, but realizing that what you do have wont ever compare, outweighs it all :) I've been blessed with a great life. i have so much to be thankful for. life is too short to be anything but happy :)

happy Birthday to my Mom!

happy birthday to the best mom ever... NANCY!

reasons why i love her:

first and foremost..

she birthed me :)

2. she puts everyone she loves ahead of herself.

3. she listens to whatever you have to say.

4. she makes my nails look pretty [free of charge]

5. she bakes with dylan.

6. she can cook anything and it tastes great.

7. she never says no.

8. she is the ultimate shopping buddy.

9. she treats my friends like her own kids.

10. she is the best nana to dylan & charlie.

11. she is always a phone call away.

12. she tells it like it is.

13. she has provided me with a great life.

14. she has never judged my choices in life.

15. she is super soft spoken.

16. she makes me laugh. [pee laughing]

17. she has a heart of gold!

18. she has good taste.

19. she listens to me vent.

20. she, along with my dad have given me great stability.

21. she always has an answer to my questions.

22. she is just the best, nuff said.

i could never repay her for being the person she is.

i love her so much and i know anyone would love for a mom like her!

im fortunate to have been blessed with her as my mom, the other way around [not so sure] LOL.

i now realize why she got her tubes tied 10 seconds after i left the womb ;)

i would only want one of me too!!

hope you are having a fabulous day mom!

xoxo

year one: Paper

couple more days and i'll have been married ONE whole year. it went by really fast. i still havent even done the whole name change process [sorry bobby.] i really need to get on that. lucky for the husband, they dont have to change anything. the wife, on the other hand has to change everything that has her maiden name attached to it. i must make a list and tackle it. i think i've given myself enough time to let the wedding/marriage sink in and i'm ready to ditch the "archuleta." weird when you have gone your whole life this far with one identity and now it changes. i will confirm that the person i am hasnt changed one bit :) i feel like i am a better person, a great wife, a great mother and step-mother too. i have gained a partner who i know would give me the world any chance he got. not many people can say that. 

i read this quote today and i think it completely sums up my marriage.

"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility."

my husband and i are two opposite people, but opposites attract.  having too much of something isn't always a good thing. i think our differences balance us out :)

so as we approach our one year anniversary, the traditional gift is paper. i've google searched different ideas such as tickets, books, pictures, poems, gift certificates, coupon books, board games, a letter etc.

i know it doesn't have to be paper BUT i think it will be fun to keep with the tradition. my husband is hard to shop for, aren't all men? i think i have an idea of what I'm going to get him! a roll of toilet paper would work, right?! im kidding, but it would be a good gag gift! 

stay posted for the gift exchange!

rain in august?!

this is the view out my window today. its the first week of august but you'd think it was december! the climate in the bay area hasnt been too consistent this year or EVER. some days are beautiful, others are plain old gloomy! i've gone from wearing flip flops to uggs in the same exact week. the seasons dont really matter here. mother nature is definitely confused. being home with the kids during summer and having them cooped up in the house is torture. there is only so much you can do! of course having boys they will spend some of their day playing video games :) then once that gets old they switch to the TV and after that i hear the infamous statement, "I'm bored!" these kids have no clue how fortunate they are to have the luxuries they have. so my response, "help me clean then?!" ha! yeah right, they are suddenly not bored anymore!

with a positive mindset, today was a perfect day to clean so that when my hubby gets home we can just relax! nothing is worse then having to clean your house with the sun shining outside!! im hoping for the weather to brighten up by the weekend. I've got plans to be at the ballpark and I'd like to further my tan :)

I'm thinking later ill get the kids in the kitchen with me so we can bake something sweet. that always puts a smile on everyones face :) of course while doing multiple loads of laundry ;) 

hey... i am QUEEN multi-tasker!!

what do you suggest for rainy day activities?!

day one

I've been dreading this day since i first found out about my unfortunate "exposure" to tuberculosis last month. working in the medical field, i am, knowingly, putting myself at risk for many nasty germs and bugs. i never really think about it. i enjoy what i do and wouldn't change my career for anything. so last month, i received a routine PPD skin test. for anyone who doesn't know: the skin test is done to see if you have been exposed to the tuberculosis disease or if you have the active disease. long story short, my test was positive. needless to say, the spaz that i am, i instantly thought i was going to die. how could this have happened?! [well, i know] I'm so neurotic about cleanliness, why me?! [its out of your control, who you may come in contact with] how is this going to affect my life?! so many questions i had. i was an emotional wreck. then that turned into being angry. followed by the pity party. accepting that i had no say in contracting this exposure is still hard to deal with.

so my first order of business was to get a blood draw so that i could confirm that i had been exposed.

YUP.

next was a chest xray to see what my lungs looked like.

NICE & CLEAR :)

this meant exposure for sure, but not active TB. thank the heavens above. 

then i got dylan tested and luckily my little man was:

NEGATIVE :)

making my workplace the most obvious place of my exposure.

but not limited to everyday life.

all it takes is to be near someone [with active TB] that has coughed or sneezed!

last week i met with an infectious disease doctor. um gross much! oh and just for the record, since you've probably read this far and thought to yourself, "omg, when was the last time i was around ashley and was she contagious!" i will say this loud and clear... 

EXPOSURE ISN'T CONTAGIOUS!

some nasty person infected ME. i CANNOT infect anyone else. i dont have the active virus in me :) 

i must thank my friends and family for being so supportive. we all know what an anxious girl i am and hearing all your positive words have made this bearable!!

so back to my appointment which was the final step to see if i was a "candidate" for the antibiotic. a nine month supply of a daily dose of medicine. geeze, talk about a pain. plus, monthly blood draws to check my liver and make sure that there arent any side effects to the medicine. liver damage being one of them. that sure brought my anxiety to an all time high!! im trying to remind myself that this wouldnt have been prescribed to me if it wasnt safe. there are side effects with EVERYTHING, right?! shoot, life has a side effect!! my other option was to take a gamble with it. some people live their whole life with exposure and never contract the active disease. BUT there is a chance of contracting the active disease later on in life. your body just drops its guard down and BAM, tuberculosis has taken over! i never get sick, cant remember my last cold. im healthy and at some times i viewed myself as untouchable to many things. guess not now =/ i just couldn't see myself taking that risk. i have a son and i need to be healthy for him. if i were to get sick years down the road, there isnt much to do about it. not a lot of medical options for an older person so im thankful that this pain in the butt antibiotic will work for me :) give and take people!!

the most positive thing about all of this is that once i have finished the medicine, i will NEVER contract active Tuberculosis.. it will only be a memory to me :) its the process of getting through these 9 months and staying healthy that worries me. oh and did i mention no alcohol?! yup.. i will be sober for these months and not because i have a bun in the oven. with the risk of liver damage, i must not add to it with alcohol consumption. dumping out the wine tonight :( i know that god never gives you more then you can handle so im leaving it up to him to get me through this bump in the road. im going to continue thinking positive thoughts and just swallow that damn pill and forget about it...

this is one of those moments where the saying

"everything happens for a reason" crosses my mind numerous times.

what's this reason?!

my doctors last words have remained with me...

"it could always be worse, so be thankful it's not!"

i am.