pacifica, a loving community

when i was younger, i couldn't wait to get outta this town. i couldn't believe my mom grew up here, went to school here and raised me here. didn't she ever wanna leave? now that i am older, and have a child of my own i realize why she stayed in such a town. this small city by the beach is the only place i see myself growing old in, raising my kids in and eventually getting to see them raise their kids too. its a peaceful town, great neighborhoods, awesome schools, beautiful sceneries and a irreplaceable community!

for example tonight. a friend of ours was in a tragic bicycle accident  a couple weeks back and is still recovering in the hospital. his wife and four children do not have their dad home with them. he is the provider of the family and unfortunately became the victim of a freak life threatening accident. in such a short amount of time, this community has come together as one to support their family each step of the way! i dont know how i would be able to deal with such circumstances like his wife has. she is such a strong person for her children and husband! i really do admire her :) twice in one year i am reminded how quick life can change in a matter of seconds! with my friend tracey and her horrible accident to this. you just never know! 

the local pizza restaurant was kind to help in a fundraiser and donate a percentage of their income on sales tonight to the family. no one wants to cook on a monday and being this was for a great cause, my family and i headed to the restaurant. it was nice to see so many people supporting the family! i have never seen this place so packed. too packed, that when i went to order a pizza [it is a pizza parlor] i was told they ran out of dough!! no dough?! holy crap! guess the owner wasnt prepared for all the people who care for this family :) so the next best thing was their chicken caesar salad and pasta! we were satisfied and happy to be apart of this night!! its a nice feeling to see everyone in town get together to support one another, i hope this brought a smile to the family's face :) and a sense of hope.

i continue to pray for him and hope that he recovers in time. 

he has so much to live for and a family that needs him<3

love the ones you love. life is precious.

the Mini Family

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."
-- Author Unknown

[co]parenting.

"there is no such thing as a perfect parent, so just be a real one."

mom

dad

made this irreplaceable kid.

5 months

5 years

8 months

4 years

1 month

6 years

 

to be honest, co-parenting, was no walk in the park. in the beginning at least. while i was pregnant i had no clue how hard, physically & mentally it was going to be raising my son separate from his dad. it wasn't until dylan was born that the challenges of being civil with one another were tested. we were once so close that i never thought it would be hard to get along and raise a child, now not being together. damn, was i wrong! those first years of Dylan's life had to be some of the hardest years of my life, thus far. if i wasn't arguing, i was crying and if i wasn't crying then i was so emotionally damaged. i went through a phase where i blamed myself for bringing dylan into this mess. saying you will split your time with your kid sounded like an easy thing to do, but not until my baby was born did i realize how hard it was going to be to not be able to be with him every moment. i had to share my son, with someone i now, couldn't stand. i had no control over the "other life" dylan was raised in and same went for his dad when dylan was with me. difficult doesn't even begin to explain things.

there were good times, bad times and real ugly times. i look back now and ask myself how i made it through all of the ups and downs. i know the answer is my supportive family. my friends who never left my side and my husband, then boyfriend who always told me, "it will be okay." and honestly, deep down inside, i knew that all this anger, resentment and what not that we had between each other had to eventually get better. how is it that two people who once cared about each other and created such a precious, innocent being continue on with life as enemies while wasting all the good times to be had with their child. whether we were [co]parenting or trying to make things work. i always knew in the back of my mind that my son was watching us. kids are like sponges and even before dylan could speak i know he could sense our vibes!! i cant recall the exact moment, but we had stopped making the problem about us and started to make our lives all about dylan and raising him the best we could! i guess you could say it was the moment i grew up! i wont speak for him, this is solely how i feel. i can only hope that he agrees with me. we had come so far in the relationship that we had with each other. yes, it is possible to be friends again. we have know each other for many years. even before dylan, we had gone through a lot together. I've let go of all the drama, realizing that none of it mattered anymore. not with how short life is.

i come from a stable home[life]. my parents have been together since before i was born. if dylan didnt have that life, then i wanted him to have something somewhat close to it. the older he gets, the smarter he gets :) i want him to see his parents interact in a civil manner. i want him to see his parents as friends. i want him to hear me talk highly of his dad, just like i hope he speaks highly of me. [co]parenting can be done. respect is number one. it has been a long 7 years, but it's also gone by so fast. a lot has happened, a lot has changed and im happy that most of it was for the best :) we have gone nowhere but up!

there are perks to [co]parenting.. my kid gets to enjoy 2 of everything. double the holidays, double the gifts and double the love!! he has two father figures, he has a stepbrother who loves him. he has many grandparents to spoil him and i couldnt have asked for a better family tree :) my son is the most loving caring intelligent little boy. i couldn't have been blessed with a better kid. not to mention how handsome he is. he looks just like his mom ;) he makes me proud everyday and as i write this i miss him even more. today he's with his dad. funny how sometimes your kid drives you bananas but the second they are gone you want them back!! guess that's a total mom feeling! 

i have friends who deal with [co]parenting and i hear about all the drama, all the negativity! i feel like saying, "been there, done that!" when i watch Teen Mom, i see myself in some of those girls. i went through what they went through. i cried about the things they cried about. i was scared at times, i felt like my world was a mess and i had done it to myself and my child! i wish i could tell them that its not the end of the world. it's nice to look back and have it only be a memory!  my only advice is that it can get better if you work at the relationship. make it about the kid and not about the adults.

it wasn't always easy but it was ALL WORTH IT!

i look forward to the next 7 years of Dylan's life <3

love the life you live.

"if i die young"

The Band Perry

this song means a lot to me.

so many things happen in life that make me realize how quick life on earth is. time passes so quickly. in an instant everything can change. some days you think you have your whole life still ahead of you but really, you have no idea when it could all be over. 

don't you ever feel like the good ones go first, the young ones die too soon?! unfortunate accidents happen to the people who are needed the most.  its very rare to hear about some evil, no good person dying. it's the person who was great, the person who had it all, the person who meant the world to the ones around them, the person who had so much to live for! 

when i die, i want to feel good about the life I've lived. you're probably thinking, "she'll be dead, how will she care?" everyday is a new day to turn it all around. you have been dealt the cards you hold, so its up to you to play them right :) I've had ups and downs in my life and i appreciate my past for bringing me to where i am now. 

i can only hope that i will be here to see my son grow old, become a great man and start a family of his own. seems like so many years down the road right now, but i know it'll be here in a blink of an eye. to me, nothing else matters then family, friends, health & happiness!

  I've gotta let go of any regrets, toss the what-ifs and love the life i live. you will always want what you cant have, but realizing that what you do have wont ever compare, outweighs it all :) I've been blessed with a great life. i have so much to be thankful for. life is too short to be anything but happy :)

happy Birthday to my Mom!

happy birthday to the best mom ever... NANCY!

reasons why i love her:

first and foremost..

she birthed me :)

2. she puts everyone she loves ahead of herself.

3. she listens to whatever you have to say.

4. she makes my nails look pretty [free of charge]

5. she bakes with dylan.

6. she can cook anything and it tastes great.

7. she never says no.

8. she is the ultimate shopping buddy.

9. she treats my friends like her own kids.

10. she is the best nana to dylan & charlie.

11. she is always a phone call away.

12. she tells it like it is.

13. she has provided me with a great life.

14. she has never judged my choices in life.

15. she is super soft spoken.

16. she makes me laugh. [pee laughing]

17. she has a heart of gold!

18. she has good taste.

19. she listens to me vent.

20. she, along with my dad have given me great stability.

21. she always has an answer to my questions.

22. she is just the best, nuff said.

i could never repay her for being the person she is.

i love her so much and i know anyone would love for a mom like her!

im fortunate to have been blessed with her as my mom, the other way around [not so sure] LOL.

i now realize why she got her tubes tied 10 seconds after i left the womb ;)

i would only want one of me too!!

hope you are having a fabulous day mom!

xoxo

year one: Paper

couple more days and i'll have been married ONE whole year. it went by really fast. i still havent even done the whole name change process [sorry bobby.] i really need to get on that. lucky for the husband, they dont have to change anything. the wife, on the other hand has to change everything that has her maiden name attached to it. i must make a list and tackle it. i think i've given myself enough time to let the wedding/marriage sink in and i'm ready to ditch the "archuleta." weird when you have gone your whole life this far with one identity and now it changes. i will confirm that the person i am hasnt changed one bit :) i feel like i am a better person, a great wife, a great mother and step-mother too. i have gained a partner who i know would give me the world any chance he got. not many people can say that. 

i read this quote today and i think it completely sums up my marriage.

"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility."

my husband and i are two opposite people, but opposites attract.  having too much of something isn't always a good thing. i think our differences balance us out :)

so as we approach our one year anniversary, the traditional gift is paper. i've google searched different ideas such as tickets, books, pictures, poems, gift certificates, coupon books, board games, a letter etc.

i know it doesn't have to be paper BUT i think it will be fun to keep with the tradition. my husband is hard to shop for, aren't all men? i think i have an idea of what I'm going to get him! a roll of toilet paper would work, right?! im kidding, but it would be a good gag gift! 

stay posted for the gift exchange!

rain in august?!

this is the view out my window today. its the first week of august but you'd think it was december! the climate in the bay area hasnt been too consistent this year or EVER. some days are beautiful, others are plain old gloomy! i've gone from wearing flip flops to uggs in the same exact week. the seasons dont really matter here. mother nature is definitely confused. being home with the kids during summer and having them cooped up in the house is torture. there is only so much you can do! of course having boys they will spend some of their day playing video games :) then once that gets old they switch to the TV and after that i hear the infamous statement, "I'm bored!" these kids have no clue how fortunate they are to have the luxuries they have. so my response, "help me clean then?!" ha! yeah right, they are suddenly not bored anymore!

with a positive mindset, today was a perfect day to clean so that when my hubby gets home we can just relax! nothing is worse then having to clean your house with the sun shining outside!! im hoping for the weather to brighten up by the weekend. I've got plans to be at the ballpark and I'd like to further my tan :)

I'm thinking later ill get the kids in the kitchen with me so we can bake something sweet. that always puts a smile on everyones face :) of course while doing multiple loads of laundry ;) 

hey... i am QUEEN multi-tasker!!

what do you suggest for rainy day activities?!

day one

I've been dreading this day since i first found out about my unfortunate "exposure" to tuberculosis last month. working in the medical field, i am, knowingly, putting myself at risk for many nasty germs and bugs. i never really think about it. i enjoy what i do and wouldn't change my career for anything. so last month, i received a routine PPD skin test. for anyone who doesn't know: the skin test is done to see if you have been exposed to the tuberculosis disease or if you have the active disease. long story short, my test was positive. needless to say, the spaz that i am, i instantly thought i was going to die. how could this have happened?! [well, i know] I'm so neurotic about cleanliness, why me?! [its out of your control, who you may come in contact with] how is this going to affect my life?! so many questions i had. i was an emotional wreck. then that turned into being angry. followed by the pity party. accepting that i had no say in contracting this exposure is still hard to deal with.

so my first order of business was to get a blood draw so that i could confirm that i had been exposed.

YUP.

next was a chest xray to see what my lungs looked like.

NICE & CLEAR :)

this meant exposure for sure, but not active TB. thank the heavens above. 

then i got dylan tested and luckily my little man was:

NEGATIVE :)

making my workplace the most obvious place of my exposure.

but not limited to everyday life.

all it takes is to be near someone [with active TB] that has coughed or sneezed!

last week i met with an infectious disease doctor. um gross much! oh and just for the record, since you've probably read this far and thought to yourself, "omg, when was the last time i was around ashley and was she contagious!" i will say this loud and clear... 

EXPOSURE ISN'T CONTAGIOUS!

some nasty person infected ME. i CANNOT infect anyone else. i dont have the active virus in me :) 

i must thank my friends and family for being so supportive. we all know what an anxious girl i am and hearing all your positive words have made this bearable!!

so back to my appointment which was the final step to see if i was a "candidate" for the antibiotic. a nine month supply of a daily dose of medicine. geeze, talk about a pain. plus, monthly blood draws to check my liver and make sure that there arent any side effects to the medicine. liver damage being one of them. that sure brought my anxiety to an all time high!! im trying to remind myself that this wouldnt have been prescribed to me if it wasnt safe. there are side effects with EVERYTHING, right?! shoot, life has a side effect!! my other option was to take a gamble with it. some people live their whole life with exposure and never contract the active disease. BUT there is a chance of contracting the active disease later on in life. your body just drops its guard down and BAM, tuberculosis has taken over! i never get sick, cant remember my last cold. im healthy and at some times i viewed myself as untouchable to many things. guess not now =/ i just couldn't see myself taking that risk. i have a son and i need to be healthy for him. if i were to get sick years down the road, there isnt much to do about it. not a lot of medical options for an older person so im thankful that this pain in the butt antibiotic will work for me :) give and take people!!

the most positive thing about all of this is that once i have finished the medicine, i will NEVER contract active Tuberculosis.. it will only be a memory to me :) its the process of getting through these 9 months and staying healthy that worries me. oh and did i mention no alcohol?! yup.. i will be sober for these months and not because i have a bun in the oven. with the risk of liver damage, i must not add to it with alcohol consumption. dumping out the wine tonight :( i know that god never gives you more then you can handle so im leaving it up to him to get me through this bump in the road. im going to continue thinking positive thoughts and just swallow that damn pill and forget about it...

this is one of those moments where the saying

"everything happens for a reason" crosses my mind numerous times.

what's this reason?!

my doctors last words have remained with me...

"it could always be worse, so be thankful it's not!"

i am.

vacation in Tahoe.

Dylan and i spent the weekend in Tahoe. we drove up with my good friend tracey and her daughter haylee. Tracey's in-laws have a beautiful time share vacation resort right on the lake! they treated us to a fun weekend in the sun and i loved every minute of it! The resort had an indoor/outdoor pool. BBQ area and fire pit for making smores or just relaxing. daycare if you need it.. [kidding] but it is an option. we spent all our time with the kids and it was great! 

saturday we went to roundhill beach which is such a nice spot to enjoy the lake! the kids had a blast. the water was super cold, but they didnt mind. once my legs were numb, it actually felt refreshing! cocktails on the beach and tanning was my idea of a good time :) weather is nuts up in the mountains. such a sunny day turned into dark clouds and a hail storm! just as fast as it came, it went and the night was beautiful again! we bbq'd for dinner and the highlight of the trip was roasting marshmallows for our smores!! have you had one lately?! if not, you are missing out. so messy and gooey but oh so good!! 

the kids were water babies all weekend! they stayed in the water for hours!! good luck trying to get them out without tears =/ then if it wasnt the water, it was scooter races or ping pong! never a dull moment with dylan and haylee :) as for tracey and i... lots of girl talk. never gets old!

this weekend made me want to get away more. spending time with your family or good friends is what life is all about. dylan will always remember this weekend and that is what i love. memories that cant ever be taken away from him! he is already asking when we are going back... my response: ASAP! 

thanks to the mexican in us.. we are as brown as can be :) 

im thankful to have such great people in my life. i truly believe that friends are the family we choose!

now its back to reality!

buying on impulse.

an old habit of mine, that im proud to say i've kicked to the curb. i never thought about money as anything more then green paper. when you dont make it, it has no value to you. now that i've been making my own money for some years now, im more aware of its value. i think it was something i needed to learn, the hard way. i know you may be thinking, she always talks about money. can you blame me?! its what makes the world go round. 

buying on impulse was a day to day thing. half the things i would buy had no necessary purpose in my life. now a days, i think before i buy. "do i really need this or do i just want it?" i have to ask myself. for instance, tonight my husband and i have been debating a trip for our anniversary. a couple days in vegas, to spend alone and with his family. of course i've been flight searching for a month now and tonight the prices happen to be SUPER cheap. great.. now im dying to go. on top of that, an email with the lowest rates for a Planet Hollywood room [a hotel i havent stayed at]. seems like tonight, the trip was meant to be :) should we book or stay local and celebrate. i mean, as long as we're together i dont care where we are... it's just that vegas was calling my name EXTRA loud tonight. 

just as I'm about to book the flights, i remember earlier when we were at Safeway doing the dreaded grocery shopping i spotted 3 day hopper passes for Disneyland at a reasonable price. side-note: we saved mucho $$ thanks to my savvy shopping skills I've acquired thanks to extreme couponers ;) i would love to go back to Disneyland, around dylan's birthday. did i just say that outloud?! Disneyland TRUMPS Vegas?! it just may have. i turned to my husband and said, "wait, what about Disneyland?!" doing both, wouldnt be the best idea money wise. i would be stressed about saving for each trip and it would end up ruining one trip or the other. i would much rather focus on one trip at a time. Being with the family at Disneyland is the best. nothing compares and just as my impulse of booking this vegas trip almost took over... i stopped, gathered my thoughts and came to the conclusion, i would much rather take a trip with the kids. i would feel guilty leaving them for vegas and the look on dylan's face when i mention we're going to Disneyland is Priceless :) 

one of these days, we'll be able to do many trips... just not now. im happy with my [our] decision. 

disneyland here we come :)

hitting close to home

i recently finished this book and i must say it has brought new meaning to my life. 

in a nutshell, six year old Alex was in a [what should have been fatal] car accident with his father. Alex had life threatening injuries and wasn't suppose to live past the scene of the accident. his father had minor injuries despite being ejected from his vehicle. Alex had an out of body experience. he tells his story of how god protected him and brought him to heaven, then returned him back to his body where day after day he began to miraculously heal! 

Alex surprised everyone when he awoke from his coma with stories of heaven, Jesus, angels and the devil. God worked in mysterious ways for Alex and his family. Alex continued to have spiritual encounters that nobody could explain. as a parent of a six year old now, i couldnt imagine going through what alex's father went through. seeing your child in so much pain, seeing him lifeless and not knowing if he was going to survive is unthinkable. having to live with the fact that i was driving when the accident occured, all of the guilt i would endure for the rest of my life would be so hard. i would want to switch places with my kid! this story hit close to home. you think you are a good driver, but most of the time its the other person you have to look out for!

i am not a huge religious person, but after reading this book it made me realize how strong the power of prayer is. if you feel you have nothing else, you will always have your faith. in the toughest of times, i believe if you believe in a higher power and that you have angels to protect you no matter what, things will be okay. the way alex described heaven, it made me feel good about having to go there after this life on earth. the life we live now is hard, heaven seems so easy :) what a treat right?! 

with all of the stresses I've had lately and in the past year, its reassuring to think that in the end it will always work out. most things aren't as important when you think of what happened to Alex. it puts events in life in perspective. the day i watched my friend get hit by a car was the worst day ever. i catch myself wondering how it was that i didn't get hit myself. i was on the outside closest to the truck. we were walking together, or so i thought. what a difference a split second makes. i live with the guilt that she was injured and i wasn't. i can only believe that my guardian angel had been there that morning and wrapped their arms around me, to protect me from being hit. sounds crazy, but its how i looked at the situation and after reading this book, i know its possible.

Alex is now 12 years old. he has made some miraculous steps to recovery. it was such an amazing story he and his father told. he is definitely a special kid who's time wasnt up yet!

life is too short. love the ones you love. make sure they know it. your life can change in an instant.

click here to read more about ALEX